You Say Label, I Say Libel
Please don’t call me single. I am not single, only unmarried.
The word “single,” for me, embodies self-centered independence and freedom from family ties, undermining natural, God-given human connectivity. “Single” generally also includes those who are divorced, which is abominably inaccurate.
“No man,” I think I read once, “is an island.” This is an axiom forever and universally true. Everything a person does affects more than himself.
I think we (speaking of Western culture in general) have lost a vision for how teens and unmarried adults contribute to family life and good society. “You’re 18—you’re on your own” is the common expectation. Youth are removed from family life and left to find their way without clear direction, or Godly ambition, or Christian heroes, or a sense of their place in the church and the family. And we wonder at their lack of purpose, identity crises, and perpetual adolescence.
“God setteth the solitary in families . . . but the rebellious dwell in a dry land” (Psalm 68:6).
The role of the unmarried is as significant as the married in a Godly home and strong society. The role of the unmarried is to be a son or daughter, brother or sister, uncle or aunt. They defend and cheer and weep and exhort and serve and pray. If an unmarried person has no immediate family, he can be a close friend and neighbor to another family who needs the support of a son or daughter, brother or sister, and uncle or aunt.
I’m not single, only unmarried. And please don’t make the mistake of thinking I’m in some sort of a holding pattern until I marry. I have a place to fill now. If I’m not content and focused on what God has for me right now, what can I expect to be like 10 years from now? Will I still be idly waiting around for a husband? or (if married) for children? or a bigger house? or more income? or better relationships?
“Let your conversation be without covetousness; and be content with such things as ye have: for he hath said, I will never leave thee, nor forsake thee” (Hebrews 13:5).
This is what I try to keep in mind every day—to realize what the Lord has called me to do and be today.
Unmarried, but not single.